I self-deprecate a lot.

I told a therapist once that, if I said to my spouse what I say to myself, I would consider it abuse. People who love me often tell me to not say such harsh things about myself, and I recently have found myself wanting to say, “[Friend], I have hated myself much longer than you have loved me.”

Do I actually hate myself? Today a little bit, yesterday no, last night hard yes, tomorrow probably a lot (depends on how much work I get done after supper).

I do not know how to…not do that. I just do not, and my saga trying to convince myself to call a therapist that looks even half decent and not too “woo-woo” for my judgmental sensibilities is long, boring, filled with even more self-hatred, and 100% should not be the topic of this post.

I wrote all of that so you can understand who wrote what you read below: I am giving advice I do not take and asking you to do something for yourself that I do not do for myself. I understand, probably more than most, how hard this is.

So, here it is:

Be kind to yourself. Stop judging yourself, stop trying to make yourself fit into the morality of anyone else — myself and the Church included — stop “shoulding” all over yourself. The world is better — fuller, richer, more beautiful — with you in it expressing the fullness of who you are, greatness and awfulness and mediocrity included.

Loving who you love, being who you are, doing what brings you joy makes the world a better, fuller, more beautiful place. Expressing your honest fears and righteous anger makes the world a better, fuller, more beautiful place. Being fully who God made you — taking off the mask, walking out of the closet, whatever illustration fits with you being more honest about the fullness of God’s creation in you — makes the world a better, fuller, more beautiful place.

And you loving yourself and being kind to yourself makes the world a better, fuller, more beautiful place.

Be kind to yourself. You are worth it; you are deserving of kindness, you are loved by God and by me even if you are struggling to have that love for yourself.

I am happy you are here.

Like I told my congregation on Sunday, this may be for me more than you, but I hope the folks who…are like me…can be kind and forgiving of themselves today.

Peace,
– Robby