Saying, “I’m Colorblind!” is Racist

(Disclaimer: Because I have to say it, please be smart and know I did not write this post about the actual inability to discern colors.  I also read an article recently about an Autistic person who cannot discern race; not about that, either. You know what this is about.)

Let me give you a quick thought experiment, an online quiz if you will.  What race are the children in this picture:

Answer key to the world’s easiest online quiz: Black, White.

You see race.  You see the level of melanin in people’s skin.  You know why this picture would be posted with the caption “I don’t see race!” like some kind of hyper-enlightened, hyper-woke person who lives somewhere above everyone else.

Why not choose a picture of children of the same race?  Right, because you do, in fact, see race, and everyone else does, too.  In White schools all over the country, though, they teach children to say things like “colorblind” and “I don’t see race.”  The education system teaches us to ignore differences and create a homogenous society.

Which does not work.  Before we get into race, let me guide you to thinking this issue with a more generic issue: bullying.

We all have a child in our life who gets bullied – or a friend who got bullied as a child.  Go find that person, ask them what advice their teachers gave them to fight bullying, and if it worked.

No really, if you did not experience profound bullying as a child, literally go find someone who did – or who current does – and ask them what their teachers told them to do about bullying and if that thing did anything to lessen their experience of bullying.

Did you go ask?  If you did, good; if not, well, I will answer for you, and my answer will match almost anyone else’s answer.

“Ignore the bully.”  “No, it did not help.”

(Honestly, if you did not ask, go ask now.  The internet will wait for you to get back.)

Unless you acknowledge the problem and take steps to actually fix the problem – education, rules, enforcement, systemic changes – it will not go away.  Without changing who I was inherently and situationally – poor, unathletic, intellectually gifted, weird – bullying would not stop without someone intervening and addressing the problems that allowed it to happen.

And it happened because of what and who I was, not indiscriminately.  Only acknowledging reality and changing the system would fix it.

When you say things like, “I am colorblind” and, “I don’t see race,” you only deny the real lived experience of people of color and pretend you have universal lived experience without any connection the privilege of your race.

You deny history.  You deny the destruction of Black Wall Street.  You deny segregation.  You deny chattel slavery of Africans in America.  You deny that the very country whose flag you worship got built by enslaved people taken from their homeland and sold as property – and denied their humanity.  You deny everything that happened to lead us to this point.

You deny statistics.  I know I grabbed a strange source, but I have mostly – if not universally – white readers and the super-white Ben and Jerry’s website has a surprisingly comprehensive set of statistics of racial disparity in the United States.

You deny the lived experience of the beloved Black people in your life.

When you deny these things, you empower those who enforce a system of racism and White supremacy.  When you deny these things, you give the system a free pass to keep oppressing people of color.  When you deny these things, you allow racism to continue to exist.

Notice I said racism and not prejudice.  I did not use the word prejudice for a reason.  Humans will have prejudices against people forever.  I have prejudices against “woke” pastors, lead pastors, Princeton graduates, and generally anyone in leadership at a presbytery, synod, or denominational level.

Racism requires something prejudice does not: power.  Racism in America goes one direction because of power and racial history.  This country built itself upon the ideal that white skin = human and dark skin = animal, or less than animal.  At its highest ranks, this country still functions on that belief and uses race and prejudice to continue to control.

When you say, “I am colorblind!” you enable the system of oppression to continue, but when you finally acknowledge that no, you are not colorblind because that is impossible, and that you benefit in a lot of ways – safety from the authorities and provided by the authorities being pretty freaking major – systemic racism, you can start helping.  When you acknowledge race, acknowledge racism, acknowledge American White Supremacy, and say, “This is not right and I refused to willingly participate in it any longer,” then you threaten the powers that continue to oppress, and you weaken their ability to oppress.

If you want to see this end, if you want to see rioting end and police brutality end, if you want your middle class, White experience of America to be given to all people, then you have to confront reality.  It really hurts initially, keeps hurting, and feels really uncomfortable in the best moments – and, when you make some headway in your own journey, it starts to feel hopeless when you watch the world’s journey (or lack thereof) – but only acknowledging and refusing to allow this system to continue will help fix and heal things.  You can fight this in your voting, in your speaking out, and, for those in positions of power and authority, in your hiring practices, justice practices, and education practices.

You are not colorblind.  Saying you are colorblind empowers the system of racism.  You do not get to absolve yourself from the difficult conversations and the reality of your own prejudices by saying this; you convict yourself and show how little you care about the reality of racism and American White Supremacy.

Christians, our savior was murdered by religious authorities, given the permission to murder him by the (likely) White Roman authorities.  Do you follow a poor, first century Palestinian Jew who died a horrific and painful death on a Roman cross, or White Renaissance Jesus who looks really buff and powerful nailed to a pristine wooden cross?

If you view racism like you view bullying, do you stop bullying by saying bullies do not exist and you do not see any difference between the bullies and the bullied?  No.  Stop pretending that, by saying you see no difference between the oppressors and the oppressed – the perpetrators of racism and the victims of racism – you magically fixed all the racism in the world.

I see race, and I want to see how our country can help every race shine brightly without fear.

Peace,
– Robby

A Random Memory (And a Rabbit Hole)

I had a memory flood back to me like that I hadn’t thought of in a while:

When I was young, I really struggled with spelling.  I mean, I still struggle with spelling, but I have those wonderful red squiggles to help me out now.  Anyway, I remember sitting at a parent-teacher conference in fourth grade – I think – and there was conversation about how I was still not reading chapter books and I was still using “inventive spelling,” which was unacceptable at that level.

I guess.

This memory is always spurned by a slightly earlier memory, I think first or second grade.  I was trying to write “The Indians are our friends.” and what I wrote was “The Indians are are friends.”  I knew they were different words, but I didn’t understand the spelling difference.

Chronic bad speller.  I legitimately thank God for whomever added the squiggly lines to Word, and also whomever added them to browsers.

That one popped into my head because I meant to type “our” and I typed “are.”  I deleted, corrected, and then the memories flooded back.

There is always a third thing that pops into my head.  There is a story from this guy talking about a girl on social media who is obviously a teenager with teenage theories and beliefs.  He goes through how dumb she supposedly is – again, probably because she’s a teenager1 – and yet she always used the right version of there/their/they’re, as a righteous condemnation of anyone who gets it wrong because “she’s dumb, and even she can do it.”

I wonder how much brilliance is ignored because communication isn’t everyone’s forte.  Sometimes saying something is more important than saying it properly.  Sometimes the thoughts get ahead of the grammar, and the thoughts are much more important than the grammar, yet we condemn anything not written properly as stupid.

I’m as guilty as anyone.  I’m a little bit racist in this regard, in fact.  There is a pronunciation of “ask” that makes me immediately discount the speaker as less educated and less wise.  Now, I recognize this about myself and I consciously snap myself out of it – I have casual racism within me, like anyone else, and I believe just acknowledging it and then putting it aside when it happens will make me, and anyone else, better at interacting with the world – but it’s a thing for me.  And it almost made me discount the wisdom of someone in CPE, someone who brought a lens to my experience I was so very lucky to have because her presence was so very atypical to the CPE process.

We need to become better judges of the thoughts expressed to us and stop using our biases against certain types of communication in that judgement process.  How often have you discounted something because it isn’t well written?  How often have you discounted something because the speaker is angry, or upset, or emotionless?  How often have you discounted someone because they lack education, or are highly educated?  How often have you discounted someone because of their level of privilege, be it high or low?

Because I have.  Probably every day.

There was a great article – and if I find it, I will tweet it and link it here – that has an argument that we can’t possibly be fully “woke” and trying to attain the title of “King Woke” or “Queen Woke” is a fools errand.  Instead, we just need to acknowledge our biases – in the terms of the article, racism, but all biases that divide and silence – and do our best to set them aside as we live in this world.

So I issue a challenge.  Read a poorly written article and judge is based on the merits of its argument, not the quality of its writing.  Read an article arguing a position you disagree with – hate, even – and evaluate it honestly, not biased by your current preconception.  If we do this, we can both widen our minds and also widen our arguments when we come up against something we find abhorrent, attacking it at its core and its logic instead simply in a way that can be described as “divisive” and “political.”

And instead of pretending you have no biases – and especially no internalized and/or casual racism – acknowledge it and work to set it aside.

Maybe we can start interacting with each other and loving each other fully if we try.

Okay, I need to stop procrastinating.  Hopefully this mind-dump makes sense.

Peace,

– Robby

1For anyone my age and older, you should be insanely thankful that all the stupid thoughts you had as a teenager were not recorded as a permanent record for all to read forever – and to nail you to the wall about because you are a stupid teenager. Every election around/after 2032 should be pretty entertaining…

How Do I Help? What Do I Say?

Is there an answer to my questions?  Can I actually do something?  Because I just do not know.

I am so sickened that I can barely speak, and I certainly am struggling for words.  The President’s words today blaming victims and defending proud and violent white supremacists fills me with so much anger and fear, and I know that I cannot remain silent.  If I remain silent, I cannot step into the pulpit in faith every again.

But I have no idea what to say.  Do I comment on literally everything?  Do I try to scream into the voice of screaming and hope my voice comes through?  Do I just cry?

Because I do not know.

How do I fix this?  How do we fix this?  How does anyone fix this?

I want to help.  How do I help?


I can do this, and I must do this:

I condemn the President’s words today fully.  There is no equivalence between the two groups and I stand with those who were and are protesting the white supremacy groups of this country.  I mourn with the family and friends of Heather Heyer, and I pray for the recovery and resolve of all those who were injured by the terrorist who plowed his car into the protestors.

President Trump’s words are indefensible, and this is not debatable.  I write this as a pastor, as Christian, and a human being.

If you are offended by this, or you think I am speaking out of turn, this is addressed to you specifically.  If you are not offended by President Trump’s words, this is addressed specifically to you.  If you want to minimize the anger and fear this event caused, this is addressed specifically to you.

Every commandment, every call, every bit of Christianity is based upon two commands, and this is a direct violation of the second:

Love your neighbor as yourself.

I stand with those who stand against hatred and bigotry in all forms.

That is the Christian response.


I love you all, even if this addressed to you.  I pray for this world and pray that we can stop hating each other.

And I pray that the world calms down enough that I can write something joyful on this blog soon.

Peace,

– Robby