I wonder if we get often miss opportunities when we trying to perform and meet a standard that someone else has placed before us.
Last year, in the week before Prime Day (don’t @ me with the evils of Amazon, please), they had the offer: buy $10+ from a small business and get $10 in credit for Prime Day. I chose a small bag of light roast coffee.
I used to pride myself in drinking only the darkest of dark roast coffee – and only drinking it “black.” I convinced myself real coffee drinkers only drank the super dark stuff and I, certainly, met the criteria of “real coffee drinker.” Before that bag of coffee, I had never intentionally had a cup of light roast in my life.
The coffee arrived and it proclaimed flavors of “chocolate, blueberry, honey.” My mind immediately said, “No, coffee. Coffee flavored coffee.” I brewed a cup and…
Blueberry. Obviously, it tasted like coffee, but I only noticed blueberry. It blew my mind that coffee – without any additional flavors added – could taste that beautiful. I still love dark roast, and nothing restores my soul like a large, black coffee, but that light roast just opened me up to something my performative coffee drinking had walled me off to.
We often worry more about the performative version of our actions – allyship, antiracism, ministry, marriage – and miss opportunities that fall outside of the acceptable performative versions.
Do we want people to see “real coffee drinkers” in us or do we want to taste blueberries?